Everywhere around KL you see articles of promotional pieces meant to entice its viewers to join in the merriment that is Christmas (but mostly to cash-in on the fact that people are just more willing to part with larger sums during occasions). Anywhere you walk into promises special Christmas promotions and Christmas menus, everything has hints of snowflakes and reindeer and Santa Clause and Christmas carols. Oh, the sheer commercialism of it all is almost too much for me to resist. And then the day before Christmas arrives, I wake up to a scratchy throat and an aching head. All the parties and all the dinners and bonding, all thrown out the window. Curses.

Dashing around the house, she was possibly at her most unbecoming. Her mind was a whirlwind of nasty thoughts, and anything that managed to escape her lips began and ended with curses. The number of calls she'd made to her mom to reconfirm facts was borderline harassment. Every area she'd touched, overturned in crazed desperation. The serenity of a beautiful morning was interrupted by the slamming of anything that closed. After swirling around the house for the longest half hour of her life, like a woman possessed, she'd found it. Tucked away deep in the place she'd searched twice.

Finally able to relax, she slumps into the sofa chair in her room and sighs; filled with relief but yet unable to shake her festering annoyance. With her dress in hand and a crease on her brow she recaps the past half hour of needless obsession as she wasn't really planning on going to the party anyway.

I am so efficient.

After weeks and weeks of living like a nocturnal, I finally forced myself to a good night's sleep. And it was amazing. Early nights are the new caffeine! I'm totally sold! I woke up completely refreshed, lasted the entire day without needing a pick-me-up, I accomplished three days worth of stuff before 7pm... It was THE most amazing high. Today's my second attempt at this whole 'sleeping early' thing... But because I did all my work yesterday, I've got nothing to do but wait... And consume crazy doses of YouTube.

The journey of self-discovery begins with a couple's company, and a couple of beers.

It was our night out. He picked me up and we headed to our then favourite chillout place, Cloth & Clef (only because they had RM10 beers and played Drum n Bass). Good music and beers somehow bring out unwarranted amounts of honesty and strange conversation. So, amongst talk of love, work, haircuts, and hot bartenders, we talked about design. It started with us commenting on Cloth & Clef's very white, very artsy menu and it moved from there to tattoo designs. I'd always had a rough idea of what I'd want my tattoo to look like and where I'd place it. He asked me to put my idea down on paper. "Draw?" I asked with eyes so horrified and cheeks so flushed. Oklar. I'm always up for a challenge.

He dug through his wallet for a blank piece of paper while I dug through my bag for a pen. On an old crumpled receipt, I translated my grand ideas into physical matter. I always knew I wasn't great at drawing but when I saw what I produced that day, I was ashamed that people would then know too.

After an extended period of manic laughter, he managed to compose himself and began to transcribe my drawing into art.

I was rushing.

The clock's long hand showed 10 minutes late and my phone displayed unanswered calls because I didn't yet have a good enough excuse for the extra time I needed. As I took a swift glance at the clock again, my foot took one step into the bathroom. My toes felt the cold, wet tiles of the bathroom floor. Every contour and detail of the tiles a familiar feel from 14 years of getting acquainted. It was a familiar cool on the familiar cracks, but the misstep had been a large one; a half step too large.

Shit. My foot slid across the silky smooth tiles. My left hand reached out for the doorknob, missed, but caught hold of a teddy bear hanging from the doorknob. My right palm slammed against the doorpost in an attempt to slow down whatever that was happening. Momentum happened. My body moved in the direction of my sliding foot while my other foot curled up under me leaving a bare knee to face its fate. The sound of a dull thud reverberates upward my body.

Sitting on my ass with a teddy bear in hand, a searing pain throbs from my knee. "Ahhhow." A few moments pass before I glare menacingly at the mouth edge of the porcelain toilet bowl. You had better be broken for causing me so much pain. It wasn't.

My knee is now too weak to support my weight and bears a disfiguring swollen bruise, but needless to say, it was a pretty good excuse for my lateness.

Word of the day: I don't know you, but I want you all the more for that.

"Hi, I'm Ai Leen, and I'm a procrastinator."

The curse of the procrastinator is the inability to do things now. I put-off doing anything that I can get away with to the very last minute. From washing a fork to buying hair products, I'll only get it done at the very last possible moment. Can't be a good thing though. It's the small things that are telltale signs of what and how a person's character is. I put-off washing a fork till four hours later; I put-off writing an article till four days later. I make the desperate run to the nearby pharmacy in frizzy hair; my car's engine oil gets changed in the workshop after two weeks of warning flashes on the dashboard, and hundreds of KM in. Two words: Not fun. But I do it anyway.

Too much time and so much excess energy invested in works that really didn't require. It's not even about being lazy because lazy people end up either not doing what they're supposed to, or delivering half-arsed results. When I work on something, I put my heart and soul into it. It just takes awhile (too long) to get my heart and soul to cooperate. So now, on my list of a million mottoes, is this: Blady freakin' sit down and do it now.

In light of the new motto, I've been wanting to blog for the longest time but was either uninspired or just too lazy to string my thoughts into sentences that at least held some semblance of sanity. So this is me blogging, all new and improved, for now. I'm even taking the effort to bring out my camera lately. So this is me, all documented and bright-shiny new.

The past week was fun-filled with nights out, workouts, articles out, losing out, and passing out.







Philosophy of the day: Often times life hands you a misfit of a jigsaw puzzle piece. You can either trim the edges to make the piece fit into your puzzle, or you can build a whole new puzzle to fit the piece. Sometimes it's easier to build the new puzzle.

Hush now,
It's hard to notice time,
And death is raping your thoughts,
But one day soon will come a dawn and all will be as it should.

Hush now,
Take a bite,
It's alright to feel,
We were created to after all.

Hush now,
When friends have gone home,
The loneliness you feel so overwhelms,
Don't dwell, indulge.

Hush now,
You see her face in everything,
Every moment spent with her on rewind,
It's true, it did happen.

Hush now,
Life may have left you but momentarily,
Get past now and you'll be fine.

- Dedicated to Juju.

"What is Lapsap? Is it a kind of dimsum?"

The past few weeks have been all sorts of ups and downs. Giving equal attention to work and working out, fun and friends, and education and learning is no tiny feat. I've grown too attached to my organiser and too reliant on chemical highs. Thank God I have wonderful people around me to help with the destressing.

Surrounding yourself with people who love you and things given by people who once loved you is a strange kind of therapy. The world is all aglow again and you suddenly feel like you're five. Though of course the riveting conversations about thrown up mee hoon and the sight of bright shiny things don't hurt terribly. Maybe it's about returning to the familiar. Being comfortable with the people you've known for years. Going back to a time when worries weren't bad because at least you had company.





You know, sometimes I think I shouldn't even be allowed to own a camera. I always leave it at home. And on the rare occasion that I do remember to bring it out with me, I'm too damn lazy to use it (it's hard juggling the camera case with the camera and the open handbag and the drink...). And when I do use it, the shot's weird or the lighting's off or my flash is too bright... And I end up with like five photos by the end of the day... And so I wait for just about a year before my friends pass me the photos from their cameras. I think I should sell my camera.

Word of the day: Like fallen leaves and fallen soldiers, they believe in a greater good.

We are cursed to be slaves.
Slaves to the world,
Slaves to bitterness,
Slaves to discontent,
Slaves to a past so disfiguring we are forever changed.

We wear chains.
Chains of fear,
Chains of love,
Chains of hope.
Chains that cut deep into the skin, blood-stained and rusty.
And yet we try.

Once again his words reverberate through my soul launching me into a momentary state of detachedness. "Go away!" I scream internally at his distorted voice and the suggestion that it's my calling to live as if my life were on loop. "You could just be repeating your mistakes," he says. I sat in silence the first time I heard it with an embarrassed curl forming on my lips. The embarrassment has since been replaced with an inconsolable feeling of dread. A careless remark suddenly taking up temporary residence in the obsessive part of my mind. Just because I decided to make exceptions. But I definitely knew better. Life has taught me better but yet I did it... Again. Could it be that it's all a part of who we are? The reason we did it that very first time was because that's who we are and no manner of time and suffering would we learn from because when a similar situation comes along, once again we are compelled to do what instinct tells us. "Oh God, stop obsessing!"

Word of the day: Like a chipped nail, it was no less annoying, but no more significant.

It's like writing with my left hand,
Or putting on a shoe on the other foot first,
It feels wrong.

It's like taking the last piece of cake,
Or stealing a lingering glance at a homeless man,
It feels wrong.

It's like twisting open a child safety cap,
Or buttoning my shirt bottom-up,
It feels wrong.

It's like me wanting to talk to you,
Or waking in the morning to thoughts of you,
It feels wrong.

It's like me relentlessly wondering,
And everyone else has since ceased,
It feels wrong.

It's like me moving on,
It feels wrong.

Stop bouncing off the walls!

Maybe that's what I wanted all this while. Maybe that's what I set myself up for. Filling every waking moment with activity. Passing out at night and waking early the following morning to a day full of everything I can get my hands on. Need to keep moving...

I have goals. I have a destination. But I don't know if I'm going about it right. The metal ball in a pinball machine looks almost aimless in its ricocheting but yet it serves its purpose; to hit targets. I'm ricocheting... I'm thrown into a situation and I have this many possible ways of dealing with it. I exhaust every means and achieve my destination but without that sense of triumph. I'm haunted by the possibility that had I stuck the course, I would've achieved so much more, so much faster. Maybe beyond that obstruction the road was free but because I bounced off every hurdle, I am here... Lacking triumph. Feeling stupid.

So I do realise I have an obscene amount of free time on my hands, even while working. To maintain sanity, I had to find great amusement in the little things... Or maybe it's because I'm losing my sanity that I find great amusement in the little things... Whichever way you choose to look at it, I am greatly amused.

Okay, so this image here is one of the guest submissions by Gavin Yap for Apostrophe's latest installment, Cakap-Cakap. Participants are supposed to fill in the speech bubbles in their comic of choice and submit their entries online. I found this entry so amusing... I was tickled for days.


And this, I found while having lunch at Kim Gary, Avenue K. *Manic laughter ensues* What the hell kinda seafood have we been eating all this while?

And for further hilarity, I've been poring over page after relentless page of FailBlog thus more manic laughter and curious looks from the curious KL Sentral folk.

"Oh, Fear, your very grip is the reason I do anything at all."

Time is something no one has any control over whatsoever. With time, the inevitable will catch up. Oh, how I anticipate the inevitable. In all its bittersweet contradictions, at least I have the certainty of it happening to rely on.

The fear of aging takes my hand alongst the walk that is my life. With every year that passes, the body is breaking down. I fear memory loss. I fear the loss of my senses, both common and physical. I fear the inability to learn. I fear the slow dissipating of life. And it is this very fear that makes me do what I do. If one day physical age takes my sight, I want to have seen the world. If it takes the use of my legs, I want to have danced the way my body was made for. If it takes my hands, I want to have done enough that the people around me would miss them as much as I do.

Idealistic? Probably...

Word of the day: Don't wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don't.

Rapture.

It's in its consistent offbeats. It's in the irregular snare and sudden additional tones. I'm taken. Can't do anything about it now but sway. To kick my feet and to pump my fists, I'm taken. How did you find me?

I'll feel what you feel, I'll take what you take.

I think I'm going crazy.

It's been almost a month since I completed my internship. I should be enjoying my free time. I should be rubbing the fact that I have absolutely nothing to do in the face of people who have absolutely too much to do. I should be sleeping till four in the afternoon and lulling till dinner. I should be up-to-date with all the movies currently screening in the cinemas and also those currently sitting in the drawers of my home that are in the form of counterfeit DVDs. What I shouldn't be doing is fretting. A lot of people I know take time off to do nothing after freshly graduating. Sometimes even years. I can't presume it normal that I'm already beginning to get restless after barely a month of bumming.

So here I am sitting in the rain. Well, not literally sitting in the rain, but I am sitting near rain. I came out here with a book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. I had all sorts of inspiration to write while in this melodramatic state but I lost it as I ran upstairs to grab my laptop. Believe me, this was not what I intended to ramble on about. My brain is running so fast that it's not even making time to process the thoughts. It's like watching lampposts whiz by while on a 180km/h car ride. You know they are lampposts even though you can't visually focus on the object. Too many details are left out, but you know beyond doubt that it's a lamppost.

This is turning out to be a very depressing post so in the spirit of things, I hate the stupidly erratic weather...

Only time will tell.

You can tell a whole lot of tales, spin a whole lot of self-truths, and convince the people around you that you are sincere but only time will show if you are worthy of trust. In a way, time is the ultimate mirror. Through time, we get to see real beauty, to encounter colorful personalities, to see our true selves.

I stopped making promises I know I'll never be able to keep since years ago. "I promise to be with you forever", "We'll never be together", "I promise I won't go over 120 km/h". These are all mere utterances with the potential to become non-truths. No one can tell the future, and I am definitely incapable of promising anyone the future. What I can promise is anything that is within my control. I can promise to work as hard as I can to stay with you for as long as we can, I can promise to keep an open mind, I can promise to install a speed cut in my car. Then again, it all boils down to trust. And trust is something cultivated through time and communication.

I can say a lot of things but it's up to you to give me the time test.

Word of the day: I know myself well enough to know that I don't know myself very well.

I feel like I'm walking in a cloud.

The first time I experienced true clarity was when I broke up with this real pain of a boyfriend. It was the most inspiring decision I have ever made in my life. Suddenly the world made sense again. It was like waking up from a deep sleep and stepping into a Technicolor reality. I can only look back at that moment in life with envy and wonder. Envy because I need that clarity and drive to move forward. Wonder because I have no idea what I have to do to achieve that mental state. Wonder because I don't know what I did to fall back into this meandering.

At this point in my life, my vision is obscured by a sea of possibility. Yet again, I have absolutely no idea which way to go. I rarely act on impulse... Except for that time I bought that RM70 cap that I've not once worn out in public... And that time I decided to eat another slice of that cake.

I read this book about one's initial reactions towards situations and how most of the time, the initial reaction is the right reaction. Maybe that's what I need to practice more often. Evidently my stance to wait and see how things turn out has not been particularly beneficial to me. I remember writing in a previous post something that goes, "When in doubt, just shut up and wait", or something to that effect. I think it's time I tried something new. Screw Starbucks, I'm going to Holly's tomorrow.

It's weird how you wake up one day and suddenly feel like you want to grow things.

Every time I receive flowers they normally just sit on my table in its packaging for about two days and then it's upside down, hanging on my door, dead. I like keeping things in their packaging. It looks good... It's supposed to look that way so i suppose I shouldn't tamper with it.

The first thing I did that day was cut open the wrapping and put the flowers in a jug of water. It's nice to see things grow. Maybe I'm beginning to appreciate real beauty more than the beauty I want to see. Death is unchanging. I make it the way I want to see it and that's just how it will remain. Growth, however, is unpredictable. Some flowers bloom, some die, some stay the same. But what's beautiful about it is that I have absolutely no control over the way it reacts. I trim the stems, I provide the water, I pop in the Panadol (apparently Panadol helps to keep flowers looking fresh for longer), I nurture it but if it wants to die, I can't do anything about it... Maybe throw it away so I don't have to look at it but you get my point right?

So yea... Lately I've been finding a real joy in watching things grow.

So I'm feeling awfully upbeat...

I think it's got something to do with the fact that I'll be done with my internship come end of next week. I am overwhelmed with ideas and impulse thoughts about what I could do with this window opportunity. There's so many things I want to do, I want to try...

This is a conversation worth recording because it's something I don't think I'll ever hear again.

Me: You're doing biochem right?

Mr Mao: Have I ever told you that your memory is amazing?

Me: So far every single person I meet tells me I've got THE world's worst memory

Mr Mao: I think your memory is amazing. You remember things that I talk to you about that most people wouldn't remember

This here is proof that I have a perfectly fine memory. Anyone who wants to debunk this fact can use this rationale: It wasn't worth remembering. (I kid!)

Word of the day: To dream is to limit yourself from a world of limitless possibility

"Shit... I can't tell if it's straight."

You can walk around it, analyse it from as many different angles as you know how, shift it so it appears geometrically straighter but when you're done, you may be satisfied with it's perfectly angled position but then someone else would come along and tell you that it's skewed.

I'd like to know the straight that you know...

I hate airports...

I hate that familiar announcement jingle...

I hate that long highway that leads to the airport...

I hate the airport parking lot...

I hate those long airport escalators...

I hate the walkalators...

I hate the airport McDonalds...

And I especially hate having to say goodbye...

Word of the day: Give me something to fall for.

"The guard at the shop was taken by surprise and could not retaliate in time." - NST

It's a beautiful notion, no? That the person you pay good money to safeguard your property and/or belongings was "taken by surprise" by the very threat he is supposed to be prepared for. Could not retaliate in time? That's because he was sleeping on the job! Countless times have I walked by goldsmith shops only to see the guard falling asleep whilst hugging his gun as if it were a pillow. Seriously... That same shop was robbed twice in a span of two years. Fire the guard!

In all honesty, I think that the only thing you get out of security devices is peace of mind. You can spend a lifetime of savings installing top-of-the-line anti-theft equipment to protect your lifetime of savings but at the end of the day, if someone wants to take it, he/she will find a way. If someone found a way to make it, someone can find a way to break it.

Anyway, I'm a little bored at work... And I'm feeling all fuzzy inside looking through people's Facebook profiles and stumbling across recent wedding photos. *Wide smile* I may have known them when they were still running away from cooties and may also find it way weird to see them in their suits and their flowing white dresses but still... So sweet! *WIDE SMILE* I love weddings...

Word of the day: To go with the flow is the lazy person's excuse and a girl's prerogative.

So what the heck is a date?

Lately my friends and I have been facing similar predicaments. We've all had our fair share of committed relationships, we've all had our hearts broken some time or other and now we're all somewhat skeptical of the whole process. The solution? Dating.

You see someone you're attracted to, that someone is attracted to you too. You both seem interesting enough to each other and so you go on a date. A friend asked me a few days ago, "What do people do on dates?" I had a very tough time answering (Hey, you can't blame us for being complete idiots when it comes to dating. We've only ever known 'relationships' all our life. Dating is new territory.)... I said something along the lines of, "Going out so you get to know the person better, the person buys you dinner and movies, you hold hands, sometimes he kisses you on the cheek"... You have no idea how lame I felt giving my friend that answer. Is that all there is to a date? Sounds like a day out with mom.

It got me thinking that maybe by dating you are obligated to offer more. Since you're physically attracted to each other then that's what dating is. Just another term that allows for physical benefits without the need for longterm commitment. Then how is that different from several one night stands with the same person? You both will end up walking your separate ways when you're done. If that is it then I'm not a fan of this whole dating thing.

I'm thinking, maybe by definition (I like definitions) dating is just what it is. Keeping a date is to follow through an agreed upon appointment. And dating is to have subsequent continuous agreed upon appointments with the person. You're committed to seeing the person until one party decides they've either had enough or would like to have more.

So I do realize that I've completely de-romanticized the whole notion of dating but I guess romantic agendas come without having to be said. And don't you just hate it when people end their posts without any conclusions?

Random conversation with the brother

Me: When we get home I'll show you something. I've been hiding it for quite awhile now coz I wanted it all but it's been like 3 months and I can't finish it...So I'll show you something when we get home.

Brother: What is it?

Me: You'll see. It's been sitting in the fridge for ages. It's soo yum.

Brother: What's it doing in the fridge?

Me: Chilling.

Brother: -_-


I thought this was kinda fun.
1. Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY in titles of their song
John Mayer

2. Are you male or female?
Daughters

3. Describe yourself:
Something's Missing

4. How do some people feel about you:
Quiet

5. How do you feel about yourself:
My Stupid Mouth

6. Ex boyfriends/girlfriends:
Sucker

7. Current boyfriend/girlfriend/crush:
No Such Thing

8. Describe where you want to be:
Walk On The Ocean

9. Describe where you live:
Comfortable

10. Describe how you live:
Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

11. What would you ask for if you had just one wish?
Clarity

12. Share a few words of Wisdom:
Bigger Than My Body

13. Any general advice:
Come Back To Bed

14. Share a favorite pickup line:
Back To You

15. And if that one doesn’t work:
Your Body Is A Wonderland

16. What secondary school do/did you attend:
Breakaway

17. Pepsi or coke:
I'm Gonna Find Another You

18. Any pets?
Love Soon

19. Favorite food:
Lifelines

20. Do you drink?
City Love

21. Say goodbye:
Message In A Bottle

Ya I know... The final ones are kinda crappy but whatever la... The first few were fun to do =)

They told us that one day we'll understand.

Through our eyes, it seemed belittling and patronizing. How was I to know that they were probably looking at us with envy, wishing they possessed our childlike innocence.

There was a time when everything was black and white. You either liked a person or you didn't. You either really wanted it or you didn't want it at all. No one would be able to persuade you or dissuade you otherwise. Sometimes I wonder if the world gets tougher as we grow up or is it really just us? That we are the ones that make things difficult. That we are the ones that make the gray. That maybe the world didn't get harder to live in but that we make it harder to live in all by ourselves...It's not our fault really...It's that life made us that way. The more we know, the more we experience, the more we lose our certainty.

It would be nice to be able to look at a playground and go "Ooh fun!" as opposed to cursing and muttering about the rampant vandalism of the swings and jungle gyms. It would be nice to once again have the world appear straight forward.

I absolutely HATE generic endings...

I hate how the good guys always walk away alive and with everything ending up the way they want while every other antagonist or disposable character dies. Why are the movies this season choosing endings ala Disney stories? We're not five. We've read Hans Christian Andersen. We can handle the death of the main character. It's not that I have anything against happy endings. I like happy endings. But lately it seems like writers are not even trying anymore. It's like they had an interesting idea for a story but as they wrote on they realized they didn't know what to do with the end so they passed it on to a 70 year old widow who has only ever believed in prevalent heroes (who, of course, get the girl) and fallen villains.

Trust me when I say that I really don't have anything against happy endings, it's just that if you want to make a story believable, sometimes killing even one good guy can't be a bad thing. And I absolutely DO NOT get why dead people need to be brought back to life. If they're dead, they're dead. We, the audience, will come to terms with it. We don't need you to bring the good guy back from the dead through some miraculously improbable manner like gran-ma breathing life into a dead girl from two deserts and three villages away or having mom kill herself so that she can donate her organs to her practically dead son. Seriously, if you can't bare to kill the good guy, then just don't kill him. Why do you need to kill him and then bring him back to life? It's anticlimactic and annoying.

Movies this season just don't seem to be worth the time or the money. It's a horrifying notion that today, as I sat through the pre-movie screenings, I enjoyed watching the advertisements more than the movie trailers.

Word of the day: We're always one decision away from acting like we're five.

Wouldn't it be great to have a clear-cut outlook on life?

I know a person who is either always on time or s/he's not coming at all. There's no in-between. S/he is never early nor is s/he ever late for anything. It's weird that some people can be so reliable in that sense. Not that punctuality is my point here. It's that sometimes you can completely rely on a person to act or react a certain way and s/he will never let you down.

I wonder if I have that. One true defining factor that makes Ai Leen Ai Leen. Like "Ai Leen, she's always late" or "Ai Leen, she sits like a guy" or "Ai Leen, she's gonna arrive in flip flops". Just like my friend who is always on time. Or this person who never fails to let me down and can still make me feel guilty about it. They will never change even after years have gone by because that's the essence of who they are. Like if you're always late, maybe it's because you have a superiority complex or you're just really quite disorganized. If you're a chain dater, maybe you have self-esteem issues or a fear of loss. Either way, it is only ever obvious to outsiders and never yourself.

On an unrelated issue, I'm blady annoyed.

Can these haute couture outlets get any more pretentious? Seriously, if you're gonna bring your shops into Malaysia, you have to realise that you're in a country where Spring/Summer doesn't mean shit. It's summer all year long. So if you're gonna say "Our outlet is scheduled to open in KLCC this Spring/Summer" I have no effing idea when the hell that is...

Word of the day: You know you're an alcoholic when you spell absolute without an E.

After spending 2 months in the Editorial Department of a magazine publishing company, you would think I'll be able to write stuff just like that. Even after having to write about things I have little knowledge about or have no interest in whatsoever, you would think I'll be able to at least keep my blog updated after all, my blog's about me anyway and what could I possibly have more knowledge or interest in right...

Well anyway, it's 16 days past New Year's and it still doesn't feel like a new year... Yet... For me anyway...

I guess every time we get to enjoy another new year, people get all thoughtful and inspired, reflecting on the year that just passed with a renewed enthusiasm to make a difference now that there's yet another chance to redo or undo or do anew.

Is it a bad thing that I don't have any visions for my new year? No resolutions, no new hopes, no new plans...

Oklar... Maybe I do have plans but everything's still so uncertain. I'd like to travel before I start working but then, if an incredible work opportunity came my way I highly doubt I'll still be thinking about traveling and also I don't have the budget for it. I'd also like to study something, learn something completely new but then again, if an incredible work opportunity came my way I highly doubt I'll still be thinking about studies. Maybe I'm approaching this the wrong way... I dunno... There was a reason I haven't blogged in awhile ok. Haven't been able to arrange my thoughts into anything comprehendible.

Anyway, New Year's Eve was fun. We girls got to meet up when Rin came back. And we got to dress up, something I absolutely love doing but... I think I need to try harder or think bigger the way Yen did.
Christmas was fun too. I got to spend Christmas Eve dinner backstage which was actually a WHOLE LOT of fun and I would have better photos to support my point but you know how people lag when it comes to sending over photos. Well, quite a few things have changed in my life and I think I'm finally ready to move away from my comfort zone. I'm doing things I never thought I would ever attempt, I've been blessed with something huge this year and it's given me the liberty and the freedom to do more things with my life. I may still have some habits that need revising but I feel like things are looking up for me...

Now, if only I could stop lazing around...

Word of the day: Sanity is the conscious ability to snap out of a daydream.