Stop bouncing off the walls!

Maybe that's what I wanted all this while. Maybe that's what I set myself up for. Filling every waking moment with activity. Passing out at night and waking early the following morning to a day full of everything I can get my hands on. Need to keep moving...

I have goals. I have a destination. But I don't know if I'm going about it right. The metal ball in a pinball machine looks almost aimless in its ricocheting but yet it serves its purpose; to hit targets. I'm ricocheting... I'm thrown into a situation and I have this many possible ways of dealing with it. I exhaust every means and achieve my destination but without that sense of triumph. I'm haunted by the possibility that had I stuck the course, I would've achieved so much more, so much faster. Maybe beyond that obstruction the road was free but because I bounced off every hurdle, I am here... Lacking triumph. Feeling stupid.