you know, i've always kept a mental list of criterias for my future husband to fulfil. i'm sure all of us have at least an idea of what our perfect partner would be like. mine has always been along the lines of; smart, independent, sweet, lets me win once in awhile, taller than me, loves me unconditionally, and all that Blues...

but then, it got me thinking...i can search a thousand deserts and still, at the end of the day, not be satisfied. all these qualities may be nice to fall back on, it may even make me look good in front of nosy relatives and friends but is all this really what i need?

of late, i've been doing lotsa soul searching, trying to find a deeper meaning to feelings, thoughts and actions past. yea...i've been shrinking myself, and the whole world...weird but true.....it's the quiet people that you should beware of, it's the quiet people that are really bordering on insanity...just like the geniuses...

so anyway, what is it that we really need from our relationships? money? status? power? a sweet, caring guy? an animal lover? korean? i realised that 'wanting' and 'needing' are on such opposite ends that it shouldn't ever be used in the same sentence. i can live without wealth and power...i can tolerate a self-made man's ego...i can forgo winning fights all the time...but how do you know what you think you need is really what you need?

it's weird where i actually got the inspiration to write this. i still don't know what i need from my guy but i know what i don't need and what i really can't tolerate. *stands up and whacks pillow on bed* i absolutely can't stand sweet talkers!! isn't it a whole lot easier to say a simple "you mean a lot to me" rather than repeat an obviously well rehearsed, overused "your presence in my life has changed me to be the best i could ever be. you mean the world, sun, and Pluto to me. i'll jump off cliffs and swim reptile infested lakes just to be with you." sheesh...this world really is based on opposites coz i believe that when someone has to go through so much trouble and dramatisation to express how he feels about you, he really doesn't feel that way at all. he's just trying to convince you and himself, under the pretense of impressing you.

i'll settle for a nervous, possibly slightly stammering "i like you" any day...