I wonder if we ever truly appreciate what we have.

I see something nice, I save up to buy it, I buy it, and then a month later I want something else. Fine, I guess that's materialism. But then if this is an inevitable cycle, it should apply in all other areas of life because life is an intertwining web whereby each movement affects the web as a whole.

There are people who go around saying they want someone to love, they find that someone, and then they do something stupid to lose that someone. Say they get a second chance, the typical expectation would be for them to cherish the moment, to be grateful and just sit down and not cause drama. Then why do they feel it absolutely necessary to carry on creating nonsense? Shouldn't they just be thankful for getting that second chance? Maybe it's human nature to constantly want things you can't have, to be bored with what you already have.

I saw this watch close to a year ago. It was almost as if the watch was made for me. Berry purple colored face, metal straps that collapsed in the most fluid motion, and best of all, it was within my purchasing power. I told myself "I absolutely need to get it". I got the money, went back to the shop 2 weeks later only to find it gone. I was so disappointed. I had the money but it was worthless. Half a year later, I saw the watch at a different shop. I was so excited but yet I hesitated. I didn't know if I wanted it anymore. I went back to the shop multiple times just to look at it, to try it on, but I never bought it. 3 months later the watch was gone...Again. I can't even begin to describe how I felt. It was a mixture of disappointment, relief, loss, depression.

Maybe that's the story of my life. I'll never know what it would've been like to own that watch. Maybe that watch would have finally satisfied my discontent. Maybe a few months down the line i would see another watch i'd like more than that watch and thus the cycle begins again.

this has been the best hellish weeks of my life!

semester's coming to a close so assignments are due, presentations are piling up, and my health is taking its timely vacation. the good thing about this semester is that all my assignments are due one week apart from the other so that gives me ample time to complete each of them...the bad thing about this semester, and oddly enough every previous semester, is that i'm a lazy shit and everything is done last minute thus the sleepless nights and the lowered immunity system. what makes these weeks great is the fact that so far, i'm feeling pretty confident about my work.

i went go-karting over the weekend and it was THE MOST exhilarating thing ever. i know i'm not very sporty...not that i'm not into sports, it's just that i haven't found my sport. anyway, go-karting was so much fun! the good thing about it is that it's the one place you can drive like a maniac and trash the turns without a second thought. the bad thing is that accidents tend to happen at those turns/chicanes. i was involved in an accident pileup and now i've got bruises all over my body. to add to the pain, every muscle on my arms have been over-strained. i can't even reach back to pull on a seatbelt. but i don't care...the pain is worth it. if all things go well, i'll go again this weekend.

so this morning i woke up with an unusual itch in my right eye. my first thoughts were "Oh crap...i caught it too." i had lunch with Andrew yesterday and he had an awfully awful red eye which, he claimed, he didn't rub into that state. i didn't believe him but...well...i always tend to be proven wrong. his condition had spread to his left eye by the night so he went to the Doc. he caught conjunctivitis..."Crap!" of all the damn bacterial infections to get, he contracts himself a highly contagious one...which i woke up to this morning. i guess the good thing about this is that the symptoms only became full-blown after i'd done my presentations. and the best thing was the hot guy at the clinic i went to to get my prescription meds.