so i've been tagged.

"orite la Ally, don't *smacks* k?"
a quick update, i've been working the past month for my parents. need to gather enough money to have a decently enjoyable trip to Singapore next week. woohoo! i suppose i'll have more updates when i get back...i suppose...


Part 1: On the Outside
Name: Ai Leen
Birth Date: 5th February
Current status: single
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair Color: dark brown with what once used to be violet highlights but now it's just...sigh....
Righty or Left: ambi
Zodiac Sign: aquarius

Part 2: On the Inside
Your Heritage: chinese
Your Fear: lizards...exploding things
Your Weaknesses: cute little fuzzy things, and my Supra
Your Perfect Pizza: lots of cheese, lots of meat, no onions

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: "Shit! i overslept"
Your bedtime: tentative
Your most missed memory: Melbourne

Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi. but i hardly drink carbonated drinks anymore...
McD or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: group. somehow it's just more fun...single dates will always be there
Adidas or Nike: nike
Lipton Tea or Nestea: nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: choc
Cappucino or Coffee: coffee

Part 5: Do You...
Smoke: nope
Curse: i dunno...do i?

Part 6: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: yup
Gone to the mall: yup
Been on stage: yup
Eaten sushi: yup...hehe funny story that...somehow it's always sushi at The Curve
Dyed your hair: nope

Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: stripping games always involve a certain level of drunkenness right? so i honestly can't remember
Changed who you were to fit in: i suppose we all do that at times

Part 8
Age you're hoping to be married: heh...that's a conversation for another day

Part 9: In A Guy/Girl
Best Eye Color: grey. so incredibly mystical...yum
Hair Color: doesn't matter
Short or Long Hair: doesn't matter

Part 10: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago: answering Part 7 i guess
1 hour ago: washing my hair
4.5 hours ago: on the phone
1 month ago: probably yum cha-ing
1 year ago: mending a broken relationship while ending a problematic one

Part 11: Finish The Sentence
I love: speed
I feel: like frying nuggets to eat but i'm too damn lazy and it's too damn late
I hate: waiting
I hide: my dirty undies
I miss: the gti
I need: money

someone once said that the opposite of love is not hate but in fact fear.

i can't quite remember what the person's explanation for that statement was but my interpretation is this. hate means that there is a lack of love. you can't love someone and hate him at the same time but you can intensely dislike.

life has taught me that the essence of love is exactly as the bible says...or at least it has become my only point of reference if ever there is doubt in that area. so read with me;


makes sense doesn't it? hate takes form because there is no love but not when there is no love. you don't immediately start hating someone just because you've fallen out of love. but, when love is taken away, fear takes its place. fear causes insecurity, doubt, discontent. fear makes a person act without thinking things through. fear makes a person settle for something less than s/he deserves. fear heightens a person's desire to want.

so, is it wrong to want? is it wrong to settle for something less just because it happens to be there at the right time?

i guess if love is what it is, then love is what i want. the kind of love that drives away my fears.